A couple of our friends are getting married soon and so we’re back in the throes of wedding planning. Or, rather, I am as I’m assisting with stuff and things for one of the weddings. It’s nice to be working on it for someone else this time around, my experience is helpful, I can back off when necessary, and it isn’t my parents who are getting upset. 🙂
That’s why these two articles on Boston.com caught my eye.
First up, Marriage. I wish this one had been published when I was sending out my invitations. There are some invitations that I never got back. And these are from people that actually attended the wedding. So, seeing this the other day filled me with glee. I hope our friends who are getting married soon can be helped by this being posted here. It’s easier for someone other than the bride, groom, or their families to say stuff like this.
Posted by Peter Post June 12, 2012 07:00 AM
It’s the wedding season, and one of those heavy, hand-addressed, cream-colored envelopes just arrived in my mail. Everything about that envelope screams IMPORTANT. When one of these lands in your mailbox, there are several key steps to take, steps which for any other invitation you might not attend to quite so fastidiously (although you probably should, but that’s gist for another column.)
What to do with the invitation? Answer it. The sooner the better. Knowing how many people are attending is critical to the planning of the meal, the seating, the amount of refreshments. When you don’t answer, you leave the bride and groom and their families in a difficult position, so do them a favor and answer it right away.
What about a gift? Give one. It’s an obligation–not as a payback for the reception meal, but as a way of honoring the importance of the occasion. If you don’t know what to send, find out where the couple has registered for gifts. You can ask the couple, their parents, or an attendant, or check out their wedding website if they have one. Choose a gift that’s in your price range. It shouldn’t put you into debt. Are you really meant to send a gift if you aren’t attending? Yes. About the only time you wouldn’t is if the invitation is from an obscure person you haven’t seen in years and with whom you really have no meaningful connection. Even in that case, respond and let the person know you won’t be attending.
Who can go to the wedding with you? Only the people listed on the invitation. If it’s addressed just to you, then it means you alone are invited. If it says your name and “Guest,” then you can bring one person with you. If it’s addressed to you and “Family,” then your kids are invited, too. Under no circumstances should you ever bring a person who hasn’t been invited. If five, ten, or twenty people all did that, there wouldn’t be enough food, refreshments, or seats for everyone.
What do you wear? This is a really big day for the couple, so showing them a little respect by dressing up makes sense. I was at a wedding a few of years ago—a really nice event with a sit-down lunch, music, dancing, the whole nine yards. A couple of guests showed up in shorts and sneakers. They looked like they had just come in from a touch-football game. Totally inappropriate. For hints on what to wear visit the Emily Post Institute’s website.
Finally, be a good guest: Show up on time, be respectful during the ceremony, and then share in the couple’s joy and enjoy the party.
This blog is not written or edited by Boston.com or the Boston Globe.
The author is solely responsible for the content.
As I’m sure you can imagine, especially if you are or have been married, that’s an article that pretty much everyone who’s been there wants to print out and hand to certain invitees. Ahem.
And then there’s Love. This was a sweet little blurb on Boston.com the other day that made me smile. I hope it makes you smile as well.
Posted by Ryan Mooney June 18, 2012 10:03 AM
Lisa Poole photos/for The Boston Globe
Thayne and Karin Symmes of Essex, former longtime Danvers residents, receive a blessing from Rev. Thea Keith-Lucas, rector of Calvary Episcopal Church, during a marriage vow renewal ceremony Saturday on the lawn of the Peabody Institute Library in Danvers. They were married in the Calvary church in 1942 and celebrated their 70th anniversary.
By Ryan Mooney, Globe Correspondent
The 33d annual Danvers Family Festival kicked off with the Baron Mayer Award/Champagne Gala on Friday, and continued with the first-ever, townwide marriage renewal ceremony on Saturday afternoon.
In all, 15 couples renewed their wedding vows in front of more than 50 family, friends, and other spectators at the Rotary Pavilion on the lawn of the Peabody Institute Library of Danvers. The ceremony, presided over by Reverend Thea Keith-Lucas of Calvary Episcopal Church, included music, prayers, and a blessing of rings. The event went so well that volunteers hope to make it a regular part of the nearly month-long family festival.
“We had a wonderful time doing it,” Rev. Keith-Lucas said. “I know some of my volunteers are already tossing around comments like ‘So when we do this next year,’ so, we haven’t officially decided to do it, but everybody really enjoyed it, so I think it’s very likely.”
Couples received a certificate to commemorate their marriage renewals, and parishioners of Calvary hosted a reception of light refreshments at their church on Holten Street, just a short walk from the ceremony.
“There were a good number of folks there,” said Fran Weil, the church’s event coordinator. “It was just fabulous.”
One of the certificates presented was to Thayne Symmes, 92, and his wife Karin, 90, longtime residents of Danvers who currently reside in Essex. The couple was married at Calvary on May 10, 1942, and celebrated their 70th anniversary on Mother’s Day before renewing the commitment they made to each other nearly a lifetime ago in front of a large congregation of family members, of which they certainly have no shortage. The couple has five children, 16 grandchildren, and 22 grandchildren.
“They’re incredible,” Rev. Keith-Lucas said. “They talked about what it meant to them to be married for so long, so that was a real honor and a treat to have them and their family there.”
It was more than just current or former parishioners that renewed their vows. The ceremony was open to people of all faiths, including those married in a religious or civil ceremony.
“We had folks who just read about it in the paper and had been meaning to renew their vows, and were just excited to have the opportunity to come down and join in,” Rev. Keith-Lucas said. “So it was a nice mix of folks from the parish and other people who came out for the ceremony.”
Can you imagine? They got married when they were 20 and 22 and 70 years later they’re still together. They were either meant for each other or they’re the most patient people on earth. I hope they make it to 75 so they can have a huge party. But not a surprise party, that’s just dangerous.