Ah, internets

The problem with having a fairly common name is that you get email for other people.  A lot.  Geoff does not have this problem.  I do.  I have several email addresses.  One of them is my name @ a common web based email provider.com.  I got this email address when this particular provider first started offering email (yes, that’s how old I am) and basically use it for times when I needed something professional and/or humorless.

The problem is that there is another woman who has the same name as me and she has somehow gotten herself all confused about her email address.  She seems to think that her email address is similar to mine to the point that she gives out myname @similardomain.com.  There’s only one problem, my web based provider owns that domain as well and long ago conflated the two.  So all that email she’s supposed to get?  It goes to me.

This would be fine if she only limited herself to signing up for the Bounty Mailing List and other commercial crap.  That stuff is easy enough to delete and list as spam.  The problem is that she doesn’t limit herself to that.  She gives this email address out to coworkers, friends, and family.  She’s apparently a real estate agent.  I have received papers concerning closings that include the vital information of people that are patently NOT her.  She’s given this email out to friends who routinely invite her to BBQs and Birthday parties.  Her boss has emailed her criticisms of her performance.  Really.

Initially I just deleted this, but the mountain of stuff got to be so serious and, if I’d been the type, of such a personal nature, that I could have done some serious damage with it.  So I started filing it away.  I now have a folder in that email account called Emails for that Moron.  Really.  When I get emails, like the one from a Federal Inmate who was trying to contact her… I file them in there.  When I get closing papers for a house that someone else is buying, not her, I file them in there.

However, when I get an Evite to a party, I respond.  Because, really.  This has been going on for YEARS.  If this woman hasn’t figured out by now that she’s not getting her Evites she’s either terminally stupid or she’s trying to get rid of her friends.  These Evites are all for flyover states and they’re all for stuff like, “Somebody’s turning ONE!!!1!!1!” or “Time to break in the new grill!!!1!!11!.”  Yay, hold me back.

I got an Evite last night for the first birthday party for some baby in Nebraska.  It’s your typical overwrought Evite for a party that the honoree won’t remember and will probably drool and sleep through.  So when I checked today 3 people had RSVPd with an enthusiastic YES!!!!  Perfect, so I responded with the following YES to the invitation, “I don’t have the slightest idea who any of you are, I don’t live in Nebraska, and, in fact, I’ve never been there.  But, sure, why not?” +12 guests

I took a screen shot for giggles.  Let’s see how fast the host boots me off of the Evite, realizes their error, and figures out who they should have invited.  At least, I hope so.  Is it too much to hope for that I just get normal spam from now on?

~Kelly

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