The Pats, our Mini, and absurdity taken to new heights

Anyone who knows me well knows that when it comes to football, I am decidedly… meh.  I just never got into the sport the way that so many other people (like Kelly) have.  Baseball is another story.  I love it.  Even hockey and soccer are sports I care WAY more about than football.  But still, I look forward to whenever the Pats go the Superbowl, because that inevitably means people I know will be throwing great parties with lots of beer, wings, and general awesomeness.

So this year the upcoming wingstravaganza Superbowl party seems to be dominated by talk about this mess regarding the slight under-inflation of footballs.  And frankly, I am a bit puzzled by the whole thing.

Admittedly, I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems to me that a pound and a half of pressure is a pretty low amount to be down.

Let me tell you a story.

First, I have only been to one Patriots game in my entire life.  That was because Kelly and I were invited by our friends Noah and Beth, and I thought I would like to at least have the experience once.  So we went, and a generally good time was had by all.

One of the things that happened that night was I got a warning light in the car for low tire pressure.  It was the first time I had ever gotten that light, and I remember it well, because I was puzzled by the timing.  Why would it suddenly be low when I drove all the way out to Gillette?  Then it hit me.

It was a really cold night.  I can’t remember what the temperature dropped down to, but it was cold.  And since the car at that point was still pretty new, I was not used to its little quirks yet, like warning me about low tire pressure every time the temperature dropped way below freezing.  These days I don’t mind, so I will just add a little bit to make up for the drop caused by the drop in air temperatures.  But at that time it hadn’t occurred to me that the sensors were that sensitive.  Apparently, they are.  So depending on when you last put air in something, I would imagine that the temperature difference could easily make a difference of 1.5 to 2 pounds of pressure, not even counting the margin of error for different gauges.

I would imagine the same thing is true for footballs.  And I am hardly the first or only person to think of that.  It could simply be a matter of where the footballs were kept and how warm that area is, compared to outside where the game is played.

I have no idea whether or not the Pats deliberately deflated the balls, or if they just set it up in such a way that nature would do that work for them, or even if the whole thing is completely accidental.  And to be honest, I don’t care.

I just don’t care.

Why?  Because frankly, there are so many more things I care about than whether or not a football is slightly under-pressured.  For example, things like, oh, I don’t know, NFL players involved with rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence, and of course, murder.  That’s something I care about.  Those things are scandals, because they are professional athletes and celebrities, and what they do matters because they have a tremendous amount of influence over society at large, and many young kids who look up to them in particular.   And as long as the Patriots keep up their very low tolerance for that sort of thing, I could care less if they like their footballs slightly soft.  I care more about them keeping their noses clean off the field.

And I also care more if there is blue cheese dressing for my hot buffalo wings.  In fact, I can say definitively I care way more about that than whether or not Beelzebub Belichick or Tom Brady somehow orchestrated a 2 pound drop in football pressure.

Perspective.  It’s important.



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