RIP Mrs. Geoffrey Michael

Management regrets to inform you of the death of Mrs. Geoffrey Michael.  Mrs. Michael died the way that she lived, which is to say, not at all.  Mrs. Geoffrey Michael, just like Mrs. Kelly Hopkins, was a figment of the fevered imaginings of the patriarchy and men threatened by equality of the sexes.

Ms. Kelly Hopkins, we are happy to report, is still alive and well and still a feminist progressive working for a more just society for all. Except for those who would disregard her humanity. Those folks can go straight to hell with all the rest of the Trump voters.

For those of you who are humor impaired, the part about taking his first name is a joke.

Management would further like to note that all mail sent to the Hopkins-Michael household addressed to either the late/non-extant Mrs. Michael or Mrs. Hopkins will be immediately recycled without opening.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog posts.


If you need clarification, just ask

In this day and age of food allergies and intolerances, you’d think that being a vegetarian would be pretty straightforward.  Apparently, it’s still not.  I’ve been a vegetarian for 25 years now and I still get people who are completely confused by what it means or who make assumptions about what I eat or don’t eat.  Some of this is cultural, some of this is just dumb, and some of this is people who just aren’t thinking.

So, for those of you who are so inclined, I’ve written up a handy reference chart.  Keep it where you keep the lists you consult when you’re trying to figure out what to make for the kosher vegan with the nut allergy when he comes over to visit.  It’ll make life easier, I promise.

Continue reading “If you need clarification, just ask”


July 14, 2013

TO: The State of Florida

FROM: Common Sense

RE: Last Night’s Court Decision

Please remedy the error in last night’s court decision.  If the unfortunate laws cited in the case are not overturned forthwith, please refer to the the following remedy.

CC: Texas State Legislature, re: The Bill That Shall Not Be Named


Come on. We’re better than this.

Honestly, I wish I knew why some people have such a problem with anyone different than them.  American culture is one of the most heterogenous imaginable.  And yet there are still so many people afraid of “them”, whether it be gays, foreigners, or in this case, Muslims.

A U.S. Army veteran, who served in Iraq and is still in the Army Reserve, was apparently attacked by his fare last week.  And the guy was screaming about terrorists and the Boston bombing and whatnot.

You know, from a certain point of view, the group that has created the overwhelming majority of the problems I have had in my life is angry, bigoted white meathead rednecks.  Does that mean we should start profiling white rednecks?  Or start reporting “suspicious” white rednecks to the police? Does that mean all white rednecks are the same?  No, they aren’t.  It’s absurd.  And so is blaming all 1 billion plus Muslims for the acts of a small minority.  It’s not like Christians have been free of committing horrific violence in the name of their religious views.  So get over yourselves, people.  Try learning a little, opening your mind, maybe cracking open a book or two.  And for God’s sake, turn off the TV and the talk radio.  It’s only making things worse.