Wedding stuff. Not ours for once!

There is a lot of wedding stuff going on in my life at the moment. We’re under the 90 day mark and it just occurred to me today that I actually have to investigate getting our marriage license. Also, I have a ton of work to do on the sheet music for the choir. Yay?

But these two articles caught my eye yesterday on They were not, interestingly enough, in the wedding section which I have been known to check out from time to time. They were in “related links” in the footer of an article that I was reading and then one led to the other.  The articles in question are linked and pasted with my super witty commentary.  You know you want to read my commentary.  Prepare for snark.

Article the first:

Kardashian, Humphries wed in TV-friendly ceremony

Kim Kardashian, right, and her fiance, NBA basketball player Kris Humphries, arrive at the Kardashian Kollection launch party in Los Angeles, Wednesday, Aug. 17, 2011. Kim Kardashian, right, and her fiance, NBA basketball player Kris
Humphries, arrive at the Kardashian Kollection launch party in Los
Angeles, Wednesday, Aug. 17, 2011.
(AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

SANTA BARBARA, Calif.—Kris Humphries has officially caught up with Kim Kardashian. The basketball pro and the reality star are husband and wife.

Kardashian, 30, and Humphries, 26, tied the knot Saturday night in the exclusive Montecito area near Santa Barbara,Calif., Kardashian publicist Jill Fritzo told People magazine and E!  The ceremony will be televised as a two-part special on E! in October.

It is the first marriage for Humphries, who last played for the NBA’s New Jersey Nets, and the second for Kardashian, star of E!’s “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” She was married to music producer Damon Thomas from 2000 to 2004.

People and E! reported Kardashian wore an ivory gown designed by Vera Wang. Her stepfather, Bruce Jenner, walked her down the aisle in front of 440 guests, including Demi Lovato, Mario Lopez, Eva Longoria, Sugar Ray Leonard, Alan Thicke and Lindsay Lohan.

Kardashian’s gown had a tulle skirt, basque waist and Chantilly lace, and was matched with a pair of Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, the media outlets reported. The bride planned to wear two other Wang dresses before the night and the party were over.

Her sisters and TV co-stars Kourtney Kardashian, 32, and Khloe Kardashian, 27, served as co-maids of honor.

The groom wore a white peak lapel tuxedo jacket, black tuxedo pants and, a white shirt and a white bow tie, all designed by Ermenegildo Zegna.

Kardashian and Humphries began dating late last year and announced their engagement in May. He proposed on bended knee with a 20.5-carat ring by spelling out “Will you marry me?” in rose petals.

Since the couple’s engagement, the pending nuptials have provided constant fodder for the media and the Kardashians, who posted updates about the wedding on their blogs and websites.

The waves of hype that preceded the ceremony didn’t seem to faze the bride.  Earlier this week, Kardashian said she was “totally calm” about the much-hyped ceremony.

“I think that freak-out moment kind of already passed,” she said at a party Wednesday to launch her new clothing line at Sears.
Ok, things about this:
1) I know very, very little about Kim Kardashian and I didn’t know anything about her sisters or that her stepfather was Bruce Jenner until I read this article.
2) Kim Kardashian has psoriasis and has gone public about it.  I have it, too, but she has it MUCH worse than I do.  For someone who makes her money by being pretty I kind of, kind of, think that’s cool.
3) My wedding shoes are also by Giuseppe Zanotti.  I paid WAY less than half of retail for them and I LOVE them.  I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that she also wore Zanotti shoes.  I’m not actually sure I care.
4) A 20.5 carat ring?  Seriously?  Sell that crap and do some good with it, OMG.  Ahem.
5) Peak lapel tux?  That’s SO out, sash lapels are where it’s at.  Duh.
6) Anybody else surprised to see Alan Thicke on the list of celebrity guests?
7) She reportedly spent $15,000 on her wedding cake. WHAT????

Article the second

Kate Moss inspired to wed by ‘Gypsy Weddings’ show

In this magazine cover image taken by Mario Testino for Vogue, model Kate Moss is shown on the cover of the September 2011 issue of 'Vogue,' available on newsstands nationwide on Aug. 23. In this magazine cover image taken by Mario Testino for Vogue, model
Kate Moss is shown on the cover of the September 2011 issue of “Vogue,”
available on newsstands nationwide on Aug. 23.
(AP Photo/Vogue, Mario Testino)

NEW YORK—Kate Moss felt inspired to get married by watching the British reality show  “Big Fat Gypsy Weddings” which follows real-life gypsy women planning to get married.

The September issue of Vogue magazine goes inside the supermodel’s July wedding to musician Jamie Hince. Moss says she was charmed by the extravagance of gypsy weddings with wedding gowns that are like “blinging butterflies times ten.”

The 37-year-old’s nuptials were also no small affair. She had 16 bridesmaids and flower girls, a carnival tent and tepees for children, specialty cocktails called Kate 76 made with vodka, champagne, crushed ice and sugar and a gown designed by John Galliano.

Moss admits in the article that planning the wedding made her “mental.”

The September issue of Vogue magazine goes on sale Aug. 23.
Where to begin?  Ok, here:
1) Kate, the wedding didn’t make you “mental.”  That happened a long, long time ago.  It may have been the cocaine.
2) If you’ve never seen “Big Fat Gypsy Weddings” it is AWESOME.  It’s like watching a car wreck in extreme slow motion with bad accents.  You must sit down and watch an episode, it’s outstanding.
3) Calling “Big Fat Gypsy Weddings” a reality show is a bit of a lie.  Surreality show is more like it.
4) I love the dress on the cover of Vogue up there, it almost makes Kate look like she has, um, assets.
5) 16 bridesmaids and flowergirls?  That’s not mental, that’s just asking for mayhem.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.
6) Why is Vogue advertising the number of pages they have in that issue on their cover?  Running out of stuff to write about, are we Anna?
7) That specialty cocktail sounds nasty.  And what is a “blinging butterfly?”  Can someone explain that to me?

Ok, I feel better now.  I had my first gown fitting today and it was really fun.  The dressmaker/tailor/seamstress was outstanding and SO nice.  She is putting straps on my gown, taking up the hem, adding a French bustle, and tweaking the top of the bodice a bit.  She’s also tweaking the bodice and taking up the straps on the dress I’m wearing to the rehearsal dinner.  My second fitting is in October and we’ll hopefully have the bridesmaid dresses in by then.Time to shut off the wedding brain and get some sleep.~Kelly

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