How to market the end of the world

This whole, “OMG the world is going to end on 12/21/12 !!11!!!1!”… “or maybe not” thing has made both of us a little testy.  Geoff has mentioned in the past in references to other Doomsday predictions that also went nowhere that he was tempted to create Geoffrey’s Apocalyptic Passover Service, LLC.

He’s beginning to regret that he didn’t.

I have mostly been annoyed that I keep having to explain to people at work that we have a model of the Aztec calendar stone and that, no, it isn’t the same as the Mayan calendar, and that the ending of this period in the Mayan calendar is just like when we end a year: we throw out our old calendar and get a new one.  I’ve had at least one person shake my hand when I explained that they were not going to die this winter solstice, they were so visibly relieved.  (I neglected to mention that they might die anyway, just not from the world ending.)

Anyway, I didn’t start getting really annoyed until various business started using the impending End Of All The Things to market stuff.  Then I got really cranky.

Until some of them got it right.

Below are the bad, the OK, and the great, in that order, of How to Advertise The End of Days (if you’re not a cult.)

You’re welcome.

This email showed up in my inbox a few days ago.  Using the end of days to sell wedding and party linen, really???
This email showed up in my inbox a few days ago. Using the end of days to sell wedding and party linen, really???









I bet that will cheer up their staff and customers.  “Don’t worry about that wedding you were planning, we’re all going to be dead!  But please buy our linens anyway!!!”

end of the world linen website
This is the page you get when you click through to their website. Do you see that image?









I can’t believe they went for the hellfire and brimstone.  I’m embarrassed I ordered some tablecloths from these people for my wedding.

End of the world Think Geek
This is better. I can do an apocalyptic sale. Also? If you want to start your after Christmas sale before Christmas? That’s completely fine with me.









I should probably note, however, that while I have no problem with after Christmas sales starting before Christmas is over, I still object to Christmas in October.

End of the world ole
This is a local restaurant that Geoff and I very much enjoy. I got this email today and I howled with laughter. Not only is the graphic super stylish, it’s also funny, and they’re collecting food for the local food bank. A+

I would absolutely attend that Survivalists Brunch if I could.  Alas, I’ll be at work right along with the rest of the world.


2 thoughts on “How to market the end of the world”

  1. Damn, I somehow had it in my head that it was the 22nd, not the 21st. I was going to do all my fasting and praying TOMORROW night. Dang it, too late to make new plans.

    I also really wish I could have put together that end of the world concert I wanted to do. I guess i could do it next year, but it wouldn’t be the same….

    1. Yeah, sorry about that. Though I think we’re all supposed to die at midnight tomorrow night. Though midnight in which timezone is beyond me.

      I still would have loved to go to that concert though.

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