A Visit to Winthrop by Saint Nicholas

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, especially not a mouse.
The children were snoring all snug in our bed,
And I killed time as sermon number two was said.

Geoff read his history book in the loft,
After the last high notes of the night, I coughed.
We stumbled on home as the clock struck three,
And were greeted by Dash who needed to pee.

After feeding each dog and both of the cats,
We took off our coats, shoes, and hats.
With dawn fast approaching we took to our bed,
With visions of sleeping late stuck in our heads.

When in the back yard there arose such a clatter,
Dash sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
A dachshund stampede that was gone in a flash,
I groaned, shook my head, and then muttered “DASH!”

The moon couldn’t shine off of non-existent snow
(No White Christmas for us this year as you know),
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a flying sleigh, and nine panting reindeer.

My first thought was that I must be sick,
“There’s no way that I could be seeing St. Nick!”
More rapid than eagles his nine reindeer came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONNER and BLITZEN!
And RUDOLPH!  Keep that nose of yours shining with light!
There’ll be no mid-air sleigh collisions tonight!”

As a ball when it meets Teddy Ballgame would fly,
The reindeer and sleigh fiercely arced through the sky,
And up to the house-top the reindeer they flew,
And suddenly I wondered what Santa would do.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The pounding and scratching of each reindeer hoof.
I wondered whether Santa had already found,
That we have no chimney! And two small loud hounds!

I blinked to be sure of what I was seeing
When I realized that, yep, Rudolph was peeing.
Santa hopped out of the sleigh and dusted his clothes,
He strode across the yard like someone who knows.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all dirty with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had crammed in a sack,
He looked like Mall Santa, coffee break over, heading back.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
He laughed as he kicked off melting ice and slush,
“Good God,” I said, “Santa Claus is a lush.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
So naturally we started to hear a loud screech.
“The smoke alarm! Where’s the stepladder to reach?”

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Not anything like that creepy one on the shelf;
Then I saw he had another bag, packed full of coal,
And I wondered where he’d found it at the North Pole.

He saw the look on my face, and he smiled as he said
“Don’t worry, there’s no reason for you to feel dread.
That coal’s for the White House, they’ve all been quite bad,
Ivanka, Jr., Eric, and ESPECIALLY their dad!”

“But Santa,” I said, “do you have anything more?
Robert Mueller works very hard on this terrible chore.”
He chuckled and said in his cheery slurred speech,
“Fear not, they’ve got all that they need to impeach!”

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
They flew low and away, to avoid any missiles.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL*, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”

*Except certain people in DC.

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Happy #PresidentsDay

Today is the day that we traditionally celebrate the men who have held the office of the President of the United States.  Over the years that celebration has gone from actually thinking about the Founding Fathers to indulging in a long weekend, sales on automobiles, and deep discounts at your local mall or favorite online store.

Continue reading “Happy #PresidentsDay”

Take cover, little dachshunds – winter has come

Yesterday we had our first major snow event since we bought our house in Winthrop, and what do you know, it turned out to be a blizzard.

Dash Linus was not impressed.

Rerun had a protective blanket of fear. Dash prefers the whole bed.
Rerun had a protective blanket of fear. Dash prefers the whole bed.

Since Kelly and I were stuck at home yesterday, we had a marathon viewing of Season Six of Game of Thrones, just to watch it all again.  So it was so very appropriate when we re-watched the scene where the white ravens were sent out to announce the arrival of winter.  When I got up this morning, the temperature was 12 degrees Fahrenheit, with a wind chill of about -20.  When I went outside this morning, the winds had blown the snow around quite a bit, which at least made a pretty picture in the back yard.

I do love winter landscapes, even though they mean I have a lot of shoveling ahead of me.
I do love winter landscapes, even though they mean I have a lot of shoveling ahead of me.

It looked like we had gotten about a foot of snow, at least when I was out clearing the walks.

One of our neighbors kindly cleared most of the driveway and part of the walk for us with a snowblower. We love Winthrop.
One of our neighbors kindly cleared most of the driveway and part of the walk for us with a snowblower. We love Winthrop.

Officially, we got around 11 inches of snow, according to Boston.com.  As you can also see on that data table later in the article, the wind was blowing pretty hard – it got to over 50 mph here.  At one point yesterday afternoon when Kelly and I looked out the window, we could not see more than 100 yards or so.

So puppies did not go out a lot yesterday.  This morning Dash was excited that he was finally going to get to go outside, but he became much less excited when he realized that conditions were still far less than ideal for anyone really close to the ground.

Dash had gone out, turned around then went over to the generator to do his business. Note the lack of a Thumbelina in this photo.
Dash had gone out, turned around then went over to the generator to do his business. Note the lack of a Thumbelina in this photo.

Note that in the above photo, we are looking out onto our concrete patio, which is covered by our deck.  So all of that snow you see out to the support beams was blown in by the wind.  I’m just glad we didn’t have to try to crank up that generator.  That would have been truly awful.  As it was, Kelly and I were marveling over the difference in experiences between our new place and our old one.  At our old place, we would have been feeling terrible cold drafts even in our bedroom.

As it was, some members of the household decided that it was best if they stayed under blankets during the snowstorm.

Scratch doesn't get under blankets often, but when he does, you KNOW it's cold.
Scratch doesn’t get under blankets often, but when he does, you KNOW it’s cold.

Dash and Thumbelina also decided that it was best if they stayed in our bed.

Thumbelina likes to sleep like a person. I have no idea what Dash is trying to sleep like.
Thumbelina likes to sleep like a person. I have no idea what Dash is trying to sleep like.

And last but definitely not least, little Violet wanted me to come snuggle with her in “her” room (the guest bedroom) for a while.  She does this thing where she sees me, waits for me to walk up to her, then she jumps over the baby gate we have installed in the doorway of the guest room, then turns around to see if I am following her.  When I come through the gate, she will walk over to the bed and flop down on her favorite blanket, which is actually Kelly’s bathrobe.  And then it’s snuggle time.

She may just be the most adorable little baby kitteh ever.  And she probably knows it.
She may just be the most adorable little baby kitteh ever. And she probably knows it.

We may get even more snow this weekend, with predictions for “heavy” snow on Monday, although I have not yet seen any estimates of how much.

Stay warm, everyone.

-Geoff

This is Your Card – Our Annual Holiday Post

christmas-2016-card

Goodbye 2016, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.  All things being equal, this year was a social, geo-political, and popular culture disaster. From the deaths of David Bowie, Prince, Alan Rickman, Leonard Cohen, Ron Glass, and Michelle McNamara, to Mohammed Ali, John Glenn, and Elie Wiesel, the list of those we mourn is really long and really hard.  Then again, Hell also got a little more crowded with the additions of Antonin Scalia, Fidel Castro, Rob Ford (the crack smoking Mayor of Toronto), Phyllis Schlafly, and Nancy “Just Say No” Reagan.
Continue reading “This is Your Card – Our Annual Holiday Post”

More kitteh and puppeh updates

We had our first real snow of the year this weekend.  The only animal that made it outside to run around in it was Dash, and he came right back in after running out to use the bathroom.

Continue reading “More kitteh and puppeh updates”

Our new kitty Violet seems to be adjusting

As we have been adjusting to the new place, arranging everything and getting things unpacked, so have the animals.  And the adjustment is particularly eventful for Violet, who is also getting used to Kelly and me and the dogs.   And of course, the dogs are still getting used to her.  Especially Dash, who often seems quite obsessed with her.

A blurry Dash makes a running leap towards Violet, who is sitting in Scratch's favorite cat bed in the basement window.
A blurry Dash makes a running leap towards Violet, who is sitting in Scratch’s favorite cat bed in the basement window.

Continue reading “Our new kitty Violet seems to be adjusting”

So, we adopted a ninja

After losing Bucky back at the end of May, and then going through the insanity of buying a house and moving, Geoff and I talked about getting another cat.  It was especially evident that this was a good idea once we moved in here as this place has a lot of room and Scratch turned into a SUPER cling monster.  Yesterday, after searching on multiple websites here and there for a couple of weeks, we went to the MSPCA with a couple of kitties in mind as possible contenders.

Our only criteria was that the cat was female, not a kitten, had lived with other cats, and could get used to other cats.  We were not planning on getting a ninja in the bargain.

Presenting Dame Violet Crawley Hopkins-Michael, KBE*.

Continue reading “So, we adopted a ninja”