A Visit to Winthrop by Saint Nicholas

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, especially not a mouse.
The children were snoring all snug in our bed,
And I killed time as sermon number two was said.

Geoff read his history book in the loft,
After the last high notes of the night, I coughed.
We stumbled on home as the clock struck three,
And were greeted by Dash who needed to pee.

After feeding each dog and both of the cats,
We took off our coats, shoes, and hats.
With dawn fast approaching we took to our bed,
With visions of sleeping late stuck in our heads.

When in the back yard there arose such a clatter,
Dash sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
A dachshund stampede that was gone in a flash,
I groaned, shook my head, and then muttered “DASH!”

The moon couldn’t shine off of non-existent snow
(No White Christmas for us this year as you know),
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a flying sleigh, and nine panting reindeer.

My first thought was that I must be sick,
“There’s no way that I could be seeing St. Nick!”
More rapid than eagles his nine reindeer came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONNER and BLITZEN!
And RUDOLPH!  Keep that nose of yours shining with light!
There’ll be no mid-air sleigh collisions tonight!”

As a ball when it meets Teddy Ballgame would fly,
The reindeer and sleigh fiercely arced through the sky,
And up to the house-top the reindeer they flew,
And suddenly I wondered what Santa would do.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The pounding and scratching of each reindeer hoof.
I wondered whether Santa had already found,
That we have no chimney! And two small loud hounds!

I blinked to be sure of what I was seeing
When I realized that, yep, Rudolph was peeing.
Santa hopped out of the sleigh and dusted his clothes,
He strode across the yard like someone who knows.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all dirty with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had crammed in a sack,
He looked like Mall Santa, coffee break over, heading back.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
He laughed as he kicked off melting ice and slush,
“Good God,” I said, “Santa Claus is a lush.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
So naturally we started to hear a loud screech.
“The smoke alarm! Where’s the stepladder to reach?”

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Not anything like that creepy one on the shelf;
Then I saw he had another bag, packed full of coal,
And I wondered where he’d found it at the North Pole.

He saw the look on my face, and he smiled as he said
“Don’t worry, there’s no reason for you to feel dread.
That coal’s for the White House, they’ve all been quite bad,
Ivanka, Jr., Eric, and ESPECIALLY their dad!”

“But Santa,” I said, “do you have anything more?
Robert Mueller works very hard on this terrible chore.”
He chuckled and said in his cheery slurred speech,
“Fear not, they’ve got all that they need to impeach!”

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
They flew low and away, to avoid any missiles.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL*, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”

*Except certain people in DC.

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Notes and Open Letters Regarding the Election

These are things that have been rattling around in my head since the horror began to reveal itself last night.  Some of them are fully formed letters, other are just too long to be tweets.  Read them, share them, do what you will (with credit of course).  Fair warning, I don’t have the tolerance or patience to argue with Trump supporters, anyone who opted out of voting yesterday or who voted 3rd party.  If you show up here spouting crap that in any way irritates or stresses me I’ll bring down the ban hammer so fast it won’t just be the door hitting you in the ass on the way out.

Oh, yeah, and I’m probably gonna break my own rules and swear.  It’s the apocalypse.  I think my mom will understand.

Continue reading “Notes and Open Letters Regarding the Election”

2015 has been kicking my ass

Regular readers will recall that a little while back I said we’d be away for a while due to the death of a friend.  Truth be told, his loss was, at the time, the latest in a long string of Very Hard Things 2015 had handed us.

It seems, however, that June might bright A New Hope.  (Sorry)  But, before we get to the good stuff, let’s go over where we’ve been, shall we?

Continue reading “2015 has been kicking my ass”

I dreamed Rerun was still alive

Last night I dreamed that Rerun drank water from the pet bowl in the bathroom, then padded his way down the hallway, walked around the bed, and then jumped up into his usual spot near my feet.  It seemed perfectly normal at the time.  It even sounded like him drinking, because he always had this unique rhythm to how he drank.

Then I woke up, and I realized that he wasn’t actually there, and he couldn’t have been there, because he’s been gone a while.  And then I couldn’t go back to sleep.

I keep waiting for this to get better.

-Geoff

Lack of sleep is getting to me

I want to offer an apology to all the people I should be calling, or hanging out with, or otherwise spending time interacting with, because I have not done those things much lately.

For a few weeks now, most of what I have been concerned with is trying to get some rest.

Continue reading “Lack of sleep is getting to me”

It’s not about strength or bravery

Regular visitors around here may have noticed that it’s been quiet for a while.  Sometimes life gets in the way and we can’t post, I’m sure you all understand.  Sometimes life hands you great material for posting and the first thought one of us has it, “that’ll make such a good post!”  Then we might go days without such inspiration.

Then sometimes life kicks you in the teeth and there just isn’t anything to say.  That’s what’s been happening lately.

Continue reading “It’s not about strength or bravery”

Work without ceasing

This is a passage from 1 Thessalonians I’ve always liked. (NSRV).  I’ve tweaked it a little to reflect our current circumstances.

Rejoice always, 17 pray work without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit.
Continue reading “Work without ceasing”